Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Who's child is that?

Whos child refuses to stay clothed in public? Whos child screams and pitches a nasty fit when his mom tries to put his shirt back on? Whos child can stroll through the freezer section of Costco completely unaffected by the low temperature? Whos child was putting on a gun show at Costco? Whos child danced for a group of women in Costco while half naked? Whos child was winking at women as he rolled through Costco eating his goldfish? Whos child was bribed into putting his shirt back on after the promise of a Coke was made to him?

...Yep, that would be mine. Although yesterday I wasn't so proud to claim him.

As we are rolling through Costco (aka Erin's grocery shopping heaven--the amount that I LOVE Costco will have to be expressed in another blog) Hudson decides that he no longer needs to wear his shirt. He decides that he is completely comfortable riding through the store half naked. I tried to convince him nicely to put his shirt back on, but he refused with a big fat ugly, "NO Mommy." I then resort to mean teeth gritting mommy and say, "Hudson you must put your shirt on or you will be in trouble. No snack and time out when we get home." That was met with another, "NO." Mean teeth gritting mommy then wrestles the shirt back on over his head and insists that he wear it. He's crying and when I turn to pick up something out of the freezer, he again removes his shirt. At this point we are in freezer section where the sweet little ladies are handing out food samples--typically our favorite part of a Costco excursion. The food sample ladies yesterday just happened to all be African-American women and to say that they were loving Hudson's repeated attempts at removing his shirt is an understatement. They are laughing at him and basically encouraging him to put on a show. As I've mentioned before, my son has NO problem being the center of attention, especially for the ladies. He starts showing his muscles, dancing, blowing them kisses and winking at them. While this was quite humorous, my inner mommy "I'm-not-going-to-raise-a-brat" voice is telling me that I must win this war against the naked child and force him to wear his shirt as I asked him to. When we get past the employees who were urging on the naked show I put his shirt back on and told him we would buy a Coke if he wore his shirt the rest of the trip. Bribery works every time, but I'm quite sure that creates a brat, right? This is only going to make him think that in order to mind, I owe him something.

I was faced with a OMG mommy moment--do I allow my child to happily ride through the store unclothed, or do I make him wear it and scream the rest of the trip? By going with the later I was afraid we would possibly end up with a ripped shirt becuase of his temper and we were sure to endure stares from other shoppers wondering why I didn't shut my kid up. Its a no win situation. Help me out blog mommies--what do you do!?!!??

By the way, while I'm on the subject. I hate the other staring shoppers when my child is being loud, or just generally being a kid. Half of them had kids at one time too!! Half of them have children in their buggies also--they just happen to be having a well behaved day, or are older kids that you can threaten and it works. If you are a parent you are sure to endure at least one miserable grocery shopping trip in your lifetime. Its like an unspoken rule, so don't look at me like that! Give me a look of "Its ok, honey. You're halfway to the register. If you can just make it past the candy aisle without WW3, you're homefree. You can do it, Mommy!"


  1. Too funny!!!

    I don't have any advice, but I am sure I will be looking to you for some little boy advice in a few short months.

    And I totally feel you on the people staring. If Will even gets a little loud in a public place, everyone acts like he is the only child on the planet who has ever been loud. You think people would be more understanding!

  2. BAHAHAHAHA!!! This is hilarious! I have a feeling Wyatt will start doing this soon enough :)